


Freak

by Only_Dropsie



Series: The Marauders Era, First Year [6]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cokeworth, Diagon Alley, Freak, Hogwarts, Hogwarts Letters, Lily and Petunia relationship, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Mr. and Mrs. Evans try their best, Mudblood, Negative Sibling Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-07-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:01:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,586
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25133566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Only_Dropsie/pseuds/Only_Dropsie
Summary: What happened when Lily left James on the train?Set Post-The Adventures of Potter and Evans, and Pre-And Then It All Goes Wrong
Relationships: Lily Evans Potter & Severus Snape, Petunia Evans Dursley & Lily Evans Potter, The Evans Family - Relationship
Series: The Marauders Era, First Year [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1637365
Comments: 6
Kudos: 18





	Freak

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: None of the characters or settings used in this story are mine.

Lily fled through the train, leaving a concerned James in her wake. In the last few moments, Lily’s heart had broken into what seemed to be a million pieces. She didn’t know what she had been thinking, Tuney was right, she was a freak, and it seemed it didn’t matter where she was in the world either. 

In the Muggle World Lily was a freak because she had magic, and in the Wizarding World Lily was a freak because she had come for a Muggle Family. It seemed to Lily now, that she was a freak wherever she was, it was just that in the Wizarding World they had another word for it. Mudblood. 

Lily found herself at the end of the train's carriage, in a small square part of the corridor. In the compartments nearby laughter was rampant, and a sense of joy and excitement filled the air. The joy seemed to bounce off Lily, as if a bubble of misery had enveloped her and blocked out all positive forces. 

Just over a year ago, the only thing Lily was worried about was the fact she was in her final year of Primary School, and would soon have to leave many of her friends behind and enter a new world of Teenagedom. Lily was to follow her sister Petunia to Cokeworth Community School, and though anxiety filled her veins she couldn’t help but notice a tinge of anticipation too. 

And then everything had changed when Severus Snape had stepped into her life. Lily would be lying if she said she didn’t always know there was something different about her, she had many memories of being able to do things that other people couldn’t do. Lily had always kept this a secret, but not a bad one, but rather just something she didn’t tell anyone. Eventually she had told Petunia, who seemed rather disgusted by it all, and Lily began to think that maybe her secret was a bad one. But then one day Severus Snape had showed up and explained everything, and stupidly Lily had believed that what he said meant there was nothing wrong with her, like Petunia said, but rather just someone that belonged somewhere else. 

Suddenly Petunia seemed to want nothing to do with her, and Lily realised that her secret had caused her to lose her sister. While nothing would ever fill the hole that Petunia left in her heart, Severus Snape certainly tried, and he told her all sorts of things about the new world she would soon be a part of. Lily was most excited about the idea of Hogwarts, excited about the idea of being surrounded by other people like her.

And then one day, in the middle of April, there came a knock at the door. Lily’s mother had opened it, to find a very short man with dark brown hair. At first Mrs. Evans, who believed him to be selling something, attempted to turn him away, but that man told her that he was a scout from a private school and had come to offer her daughter Lily a scholarship. Mrs. Evans called Lily and Mr. Evans to the living room, and rushed off to make a pot of tea. 

The man introduced himself as Professor Flitwick, and then began into a tale about Hogwarts. At first Mr. and Mrs. Evans thought the man was joking, and laughed hard, but then Professor Flitwick asked them if Lily had ever done anything strange, or something that seemed impossible and both of Lily’s parents had been able to recite many stories of such events. To top it all of Professor Flitwick had used his wand to vanish an old vase Mrs. Evans wasn’t fond of, and offered to answer any questions the family might have. 

It was as the family asked questions that Petunia returned home from her friend's house for dinner, and seemed very distrubed to find a stranger in the Living Room. Mr. Evans asked her to join them, no doubt hoping to explain what was going on to his daughter, but instead Petunia, rather uncharacteristically, stormed up the stairs and out of sight. It was then that Lily admitted that she had known about the Wizarding World for a while, and so had Petunia, because of a Wizard Boy who lived on Spinner's End. 

Despite Lily’s early worries that her parents would think she was abnormal about her, like Petunia did, it became apparent that neither of them could be anymore delighted. Professor Flitwick had left the house, after refusing Mrs. Evans’ invite to stay for dinner, and as he left he told Lily to expect her official Hogwarts Letter sometime in July. 

In the months after, Lily’s parents had tried desperately to repair their daughter's relationship. One day at breakfast, Mr. and Mrs. Evans announced that they had organized a viewing of a nearby private boarding school. It seemed that they believed that Petunia had been upset at the idea of her sister going to fancy boarding school, and their solution was to offer her the same experience. A week later the family had bundled into the car, and travelled to the school. 

Iris Barnetts' Academy for Girls was everything Lily had imagined Hogwarts would be like, minus the magic. It had exposed stone walls, stained glass windows, and the most beautiful grounds and courtyards Lily had ever seen. The Head Girl had given them the tour, and had even introduced Petunia to a group of girls that would be in her year should she enroll. Throughout the day Petunia had been much less distant with Lily, and seemed so much happier that she had been in weeks.

After the tour, the family left for lunch in a cafe in the nearby village, which Mr. Evans told Petunia she would be allowed to visit on certain weekends, and just as the waitress placed the family’s desert of various ice creams on the table, Petunia announced that she would love to go to the Academy. 

And so after lunch the family returned to the school, and spent the afternoon in the Headmistress’ office filling out the paperwork needed so that Petunia could attend the following September. Everything was perfect when the family got into the car for the drive home. For the first time in weeks Petunia talked to Lily as they drove home, and Lily was so happy to see a smile on her sister’s face again. 

When they were about halfway home, Mr. Evan pulled in at a Chip Shop to get them all some dinner, and after taking their orders left the car. As they waited, Mrs. Evans turned in her chair to talk to her daughters, and expressed how proud she was of them both for getting accepted into such good schools. She went on and on about the Academy, before starting on Hogwarts and its greatness. Lily saw Petunia tense up beside her, but at first thought nothing of it, as the car was getting cold, because their father had turned the heating off as he left. It wasn’t until Mr. Evans returned with the food, and Lily turned to her sister to talk as they ate, that she realised something was wrong. It seemed that even the mention of Hogwarts was enough to turn Petunia off her again. 

For the months that followed, Petunia only talked to Lily when absolutely necessary. Their parents tried hard to relieve the tension between their daughters, but with no luck. Eventually Mr. and Mrs. Evans decided that pumping their daughters with excitement about their new schools may help, and so they did at every chance they got. 

Lily’s Hogwarts Acceptance letter came in July, and attached to the letter was her Book and Equipment List, and another letter explaining where this stuff could be gotten. The letter described a place called Diagon Alley, that appeared to be a Wizard-Only street. In the letter they were told to find a pub called the Leaky Cauldron on Charing Cross Road in London, and explained that if they travelled there on the 31st of July Professors from Hogwarts would be there to help Muggle-Born families find their feet. 

So on the 30th of July Lily and her parents set off to stay the night in a hotel near Charing Cross Road, so they could arrive at the pub early the following day. Petunia refused to come, stating she would much rather stay at her friend Karen’s house for the night, as she would miss her when she went away to the Academy in September. Lily tried not to take it as an insult that her sister would rather spend her last few weeks home with Karen, than her. 

Lily and her parents found the Leaky Cauldron easily enough, as as they were searching for it, Mrs. Evans spotted a man in a pointed hat disappearing off the street. They were greeted by a teacher called Professor Kettleburn, who led them along the spectacular Diagon Alley towards Gringotts to get their Muggle money exchanged, as they went he pointed out which shops they needed to visit, and used a quill to write the shop names beside each item on Lily’s list. Diagon Alley was the most, well, magical place Lily had ever been. Her favourite shop by far was Ollivanders, she had learned that wands choose wizards, and not the other way around. A Willow Wand, of ten and one-quarter inches, with a core of a Phoenix Feather had chosen her. Mr Ollivander had described it as swishy, whatever that meant. 

After having dinner in the Leaky Cauldron, and some pleasant conversation with some of the Wizards around who were more than happy to tell Lily and her parents all about Hogwarts and their time there, they set off home. Petunia had already come home when they arrived, and was reading a book at the kitchen table while eating a bowl of tomato soup and brown bread. When Lily entered the room, she could have sworn she had seen Petunia shove something into her books pages before slamming it shut. Petunia was extra grumpy that night, and went to bed less than half an hour later. 

It was three days before she was due to leave for Hogwarts that Lily found what Petunia had been hiding. Severus had started coming to visit the Evans household often during that summer, usually causing Petunia to leave the house to visit a friend. On this particular day, Lily and Severus had been in her room, the windows pushed wide open, as they of Hogwarts and how little time there was now before they got there. As they chatted, Lily realised she had forgotten to write to her Grandmother, and rushed about looking for a pen. 

After searching for what felt like forever, Lily decided to borrow one from her sister's desk, and rushed to the room next door. Severus followed her, and stood in the doorway, as she grabbed a pen from the pencil holder. When Lily turned around, she found Severus staring intently at Petunia’s bedside table, and when she turned to see what he was looking at, she saw an envelope with the same green ink as her Hogwarts Letter had had. Severus stepped into the room, picked up the letter and began to read it. Lily knew it was wrong to let him do so, but she couldn’t bring herself to stop him as excitement filled her veins. Surely, this meant that Petunia had been accepted too. It turned out, however, that that was not the case, as once he was finished Severus handed it over stating something about how there must be Wizards in the Muggle Posting Service.

Lily read the letter, and her heart shattered. Petunia wanted to go to Hogwarts, and had written to the Headmaster asking to attend too. The Headmaster, named Albus Percivial Wulfric Brian Dumbledore apparently, had written back to tell her why it wasn’t possible. With a sick feeling in her stomach, Lily pushed Severus from the room, placed the letter back where they had found it, and left the room all thoughts of the letter to her Grandmother forgotten.

Over her last few days at home, Lily made sure not to mention Hogwarts. She had told Severus she wanted to spend the last few days of summer with her family, and that she wouldn’t see him until the Hogwarts Express, but in reality she didn’t want Petunia to have a constant reminder around the house of something she couldn’t have. Lily’s relationship with Petunia wasn’t exactly good over those days, but it hadn’t been bad either, and before she even knew it was time to go to London. 

Petunia had tried to stay at home, saying that she needed to do last minute packing before she left for the Academy the following day, but Mr. and Mrs. Evans insisted she come to see her sister off, and that they would help her when they returned. The car was quiet the whole way to London, but their parents seemed to think it was due to tiredness from the early morning, and didn’t say anything. 

Everything was okay until they got to the station, not perfect, but okay. A nice wizarding family, easily recognisable from their robes, had helped them onto platform 9 and ¾. The Hogwarts Express in itself was beautiful, and the Evans family watched as they filled it with all sorts of strange luggage. Petunia seemed in wonder of it all, but was fighting to hide it behind pursed lips. 

More than anything, Lily wanted her sister to be happy, and so she decided at that moment that when she arrived at Hogwarts she would ask Professor Dumbledore personally. It was telling Petunia this that started the fight, and before Lily really knew what was happening Petunia had called her a freak. Lily felt a rage she had never felt before build up in her chest, and as Petunia continued about how Hogwarts was full of freaks like her, Lily lost it and blurted out about how she hadn’t thought the school was full of freaks when she had written to Professor Dumbledore.

Lily didn’t think it was possible, but that had made Petunia even madder than before. Petunia screamed about how she had invaded her privacy, and raged on before finally settling on that word again. Freak. 

After saying goodbye to her family, Lily boarded the train with Severus who had been standing nearby, and allowed herself to forget about Petunia, about how she was a freak in the Muggle World. She became excited for Hogwarts, she let go of all the bad memories of the last few months she had spent with her sister. She met two new boys, two possible new friends in Sirius and James, and while she had yet to really talk with James, Sirius seemed to be nice. 

Then in less than a minute, that Narcissa girl had brought her world crashing down. Lily was a freak here too, a Mudblood, someone whose family hadn’t a drop of magic between them. Lily was a freak wherever she went, whether it be the Muggle World or the Magic World. She wasn’t normal anywhere. 

With her eyes full of tears, her cheeks red and blotchy, and her heart broken into what had to be more than a million pieces Lily set off towards her compartment with the realisation that she would never truly belong anywhere.

**Author's Note:**

> As I read of the last chapter, something always seemed off. I couldn't quite figure out what it was, and it really threw me off writing this story for, well, months at this stage. I tried to write this next chapter many times, all of them from Remus' view, before I realised what was wrong. When I was writing the last chapter, I had intended for it to be known that the reason Lily made such as shift from being upset about Narcissa to being upset about Petunia was because she had realised she 'didn't belong anywhere' (which of course isn't true, but its how she feels), but I completely missed the mark. It was so clear in my head, that I forgot that the people reading it weren't mind-readers, and that they mightn't see it that way, and that was the problem. 
> 
> This chapter is different for the other, taking place almost entirely in Lily's memories, with no dialogue or really anything happening. It is certainly not my best work, and I know that, but it fulfils its purpose of filling in the blank like it was suppose to. It has also helped me to gain my confidence back, so hopefully the chapter with Remus will spill onto the pages now. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this chapter!
> 
> I'd love to hear any feedback, including constructive criticism. I made this account and started sharing my stories to improve my skill.
> 
> Also if you see any grammar/spelling mistakes in this piece, please feel free to mention them in the comments so I can fix them. Please remember there no need to feel an obligation to do this, but if you want to you can. I did proof read and edit, but knowing me I definitely missed something.
> 
> Anyways I hope you all enjoyed, and I look forward to sharing the next part with you.


End file.
